If you don’t understand something in church, there is no reason why you can’t ask your Pastor. The problem with asking your Pastor is, your Pastor is not under the same guidelines as a counselor, or therapist. And they really should be. HIPPA should apply, if not just respect.
Allow me to share a something that happened to me back in the mid 90’s. I went to a church with my brother, and quickly discovered a pattern developing. One that caused great concern in my eyes as I had already had difficulties (at that time) with believing in speaking in tongues. At close to the end of the service, the Pastor would wait for a message from God. At this time someone would speak in tongues. Well when no one spoke in tongues the Pastor looked at this young blond woman who conveniently spoke in tongues right when he looked at her. This happened over four Sunday’s in a row. I said nothing, however my brother did. After discussing the almost impossibility that this could be the case every Sunday…. I decided to call the Pastor, and ask about speaking in tongues. Then I asked about his “tell” how he always would look at her, and then suddenly she would speak in tongues. He was shocked, and frankly at the moment I can’t recall his excuse of an answer. But it clearly wasn’t good enough. So I shared with my brother how I called him, an asked.
We went to church the next Sunday, early as usual. When one of the Deacons came up to speak to me about the phone call. (My brother was beside me.) It was clear there was no privacy, and it should not have been addressed among the congregation like that. I was mad, sad, and deeply disturbed all at once, my trust had been breached. Instead of protecting the relationship of the Pastor, he ruined his church for us.
This is not meant to, by any means, discourage you from sharing with your pastor, but more educate him or her into a level of understanding. That what you discuss isn’t for others to hear. Unless of course you are seeking prayer meetings, etc. There should never be any kind of harm caused in asking your pastor for some sort of understanding.